Here we go......NOW WHAT????

I am a child of.....

2006-02-20T22:00:00.000-08:00

First thing that comes to mind is divorced parents, and therefore a child of one parent, my mother. Did not and still do not see my real dad. But thats all negetive and dont want to dwell on that, other than to say as I get older it makes more of a difference. I am the child of a parent who believed in communication and instilled it. I am a child that was not hugged or told I love you very often, something that I have been slowly changing in my life. I am a child of education, I loved school and learning when I was in school and college, and more recently as an adult that went back and loved it even more. I am a child of clutter, and that is definately changing!!!!! I am a child of a family that wasnt particularly close, and that I am changing!!! I am a child of my grandmother on my fathers side, I am very much like her and I feel her close by at all different times in my life, more recently in a customer I have at work, its almost eeiry! I am a child raised with no religous influence and wish I had been, I am drawn and have indulged but would like to be more involved and likely will sometime in my future.

Thanks Amy for this challege, I learned alot about myself by putting it down in type!!!!

thoughTs Challenge 7 - What are you Thankful for?

2005-11-24T19:37:00.000-08:00

Thanks Tracey for the great inspirations, and like you said I have alot to be greatful for! I am thankful for my children and my parents and my grandbabies. I am thankful that we are close, physically and geographically. I am thankful for my role in my childrens lives, that I can give time to them, that I can be patient and understanding with them. I am thankful that I can spend QUALITY time with my grandbabies, reading, watching a DVD, going to the park, I get to do all of those things I wanted to do with my kids but couldnt as much as I wanted to because I was a wife, mother and working woman. I am VERY thankful for my role in my grandbabies lives, I will have the chance to always be there for them, and I am really looking forward to helping in their classrooms when they go to school!!!! I am thankful that I talk to my kids, if not every day then every few days, and one I do talk to multiple times a day everyday! I am thankful that my mom has always been there for me. I talk to my mom at least once everyday. She has helped me in every way possible, supported me when I needed it, and I am thankful that she is one of my best friends, as is my Dad who also has always been there and is one you can really talk to about anything. And last but certainly not least I am greatful that I am still living and able to appreciate my life after all of my health problems and that I continue to maintain where I am and still have a decent attitude about it....but then again the drugs do help!!! I am thankful for the life that I have been given and what I have made with it! So what are you thankful for on this glorious Thanksgiving Day 2005?????
PS. It was 80 degrees today!!!

thoughTs Challenge 6 - Secret Talent

2005-11-13T22:04:00.000-08:00

A secret talent huh? Well lets see.....I think that my talents are even secret from me!!!! I know that I have some potentials that if I really pursued them could be talent. For instance, I have always had an eye for pictures, taking them that is. I take pictures, share them with everyone who wants them and see that often they print them and frame them, even though they take their own pictures. I am saving for a Canon Digital Rebel camera, I cant wait to get it and play. I just love digital, you can do so much, take so many, and it doesnt cost a thing!!!! Now my brother has gone full blown photographer on the side, he has all the equipment, does all the research, and is like a walking bible on photography, I dont really want that, I like the more art end of it, composition, angles, using what the camera offers. I just love pictures....and this one I am going to pursue!!!!!

thoughTs Challenge 5 - My Eyes

2005-11-01T23:28:00.000-08:00

So this weeks thoughTs challenge is to pick a body part and write about it. I get alot of comments on my eyes. They are a piercing turquoise blue! Naturally everyone thinks the color comes from colored contacts, NOT!!! I do wear contacts but they arent colored, I did try the colored ones but the turquoise blue of my eyes is better than the colored contacts, so why bother??? When I was little I had very blue blue eyes, as I got older they were green, which I really liked, and then about 10 years ago they got to be a perfect turquoise blue, which I have learned to really like. My eyes take alot of people by surprise, I get the WOW comment quite often. It makes me uncomfortable sometimes, because in my opinion yes the color is great but I have the biggest bags under them that you have ever seen......I even had them as a child, and if I am really tired or not feeling well it is ten times worse. I would get that fixed in a heartbeat if I could! My eye color comes from my mom, who at 65 has piercing blue eyes, a different shade from mine, she passed hers along to my Daughter Katy, who has also passed it on to her son Jeromy. My oldest daughter got the brownest eyes you have ever seen, and her daughters are like mine! My youngest daughter has my eyes....they are a bit green right now, but I have no doubt she will get the turquoise with age. They say that your eyes are the window to your world.......I have pretty windows I think!!!!!

The Me inside of Me

2005-10-28T23:38:00.000-07:00

Who am I? The 45 year old mother of 3 grown daughters, and grammy to 2 babies. Single. Disabled. Independent. Creative. Helpful. Caring. Thats what I am to everyone around me, thats what they see. But what am I inside of me???? I am not 45 inside, infact 45 is a little scary! Inside I dont feel much different than I did as a teenager, or a young mom. Sometimes I will see myself in a mirror or see a picture of myself and think oh my, what happened, who is that???? My heart is still very young.....even though its not in great shape. My mind is still very young. How can I possibly be half way through my life already???? In the last few years I feel like I have just begun to live. It may be a reflection on the calmness of death that I experienced. The big question, why was I spared, what is my purpose? Will I ever know?? At first I thought not, but I think I have an inkling....which I will keep to myself! So who is inside of Julie????? A very young at heart woman who is enjoying life fully and pursueing all of those things that are important to me.

What is outside the window?????

2005-10-25T18:55:00.000-07:00

So I confess I am a huge people watcher......as are my daughters, we can just sit on a bench, enjoy a snack and not say one word to each other but know exactly what the other is thinking. It sort of just happened with us, not much is ever said about it but we all really enjoy it!!! So I tend to keep track of things that go on outside my window! I am on the second floor and the window faces the driveway and extra parking in my complex, along with about 8 other units. I hear all of the cars that drive by, all of the conversations that go on......some people should really think twice about the things they say!!!!! I see the neighbor getting her daughter and son out of the car, and then someone pulling up to talk with her while she tries to corral her kids so they dont wander onto the driveway. I see the realtor that is bringing a client to come see my place....gotta go take refuge in the garage with the dog so she doesnt bark her head off. I see the kids riding their scooters and skateboards and bikes.....even thought they are not suppose to. Two of the neighbors in the units I can see have taken their dogs out for a potty break......and the sun is setting.....wont be able to see much after dark....but I can still hear!!!!!!

One Busy Sunday!

2005-10-16T19:51:00.000-07:00

So this morning started out early for Sunday, had to get up early to get my house ready for an open house.....of course I should have done the work yesterday but didnt...what else is new??? Rachel came over and we went to the Mall to get some stuff for her costume, of course we were sidetracked...........I even lost her in Old Navy!!! How do you do that in such a small store??? I had to call her on her cell phone to find her....in the dressing room!!! After the mall we picked up Kari and went to get get pedicures......tried a new place, Kari tries them all in Simi Valley!!! Was very nice. Then like we hadnt done enough all day we went to Target, Ross and Kohls. And then we got Matt (who had to help direct in an air conditioning unit by helicopter over at the mall) and went out to eat at Don Cuco's. Very nice day all around. And it seems the open house was well attended....now if someone would just buy it!!!!!! I have much to do, magnets to work on, a circle journal to finish, a lay out for another circle journal, and to finish Jenna's Tinkerbell costume....and all I want to do is sleep!!!!!

The day they told me......

2005-10-13T18:24:00.000-07:00

that I was having a heart attack at the age of 35 changed my life forever and 10 years later still adds twists and turns to my life unexpectedly. So there I was a 35 year old mother of 3, slightly overweight, working at a preschool, just before lunch and I have chest pain that can accurately be discribed as 'an elephant sitting on my chest'. I am sweating and cant catch my breath, finally we all decide I should go to the ER...and another teacher drives me there! The ER took one look at me and took me in the back without even getting any information, I still didnt have a clue what it was, someone came in and did an EKG and had a very strange look on her face, still I have no clue, but everyone else did. The only thing on my mind was the pain, and that I needed to pick up my kids from school because they were out early that day, and to please call my mom but I couldnt remember her number. The next thing I know there is a nurse bending over me and I looked up and saw her blue blue eyes and she seemed so comforting and so I told her I think I am going to pass out, and she said you are in the best hands you could be, and that was it everything went dark. I dont know how long I was out, actually my heart had stopped and they had to defibrillate me but I still didnt know that, but when I awoke I was in a hospital gown, and I again asked about my mom and my kids. When I did come to, the nurse told me welcome back, and my husband was there, and my day care was picking up my kids. I was also told that I was having heart problems and that I needed to be transferred to another hospital 25 minutes away....my first ride in an ambulance. All the while I was very calm and I felt very safe and secure and was never scared.....I think wherever I went when my heart stopped was very calming and comforting....to this day I have had this feeling whenever I have had heart problems. I had angioplasty that almost didnt work, a scary moment for all, but not me. At the time this happened everything in my life changed, the way I ate, the things I did, working, all of it. But we still did not know why it happened. After a few more episodes and a couple more years it was determined that I have spasms that cause heart attacks....Printz Metal Anginia, rare , and rare that it causes actual heart attacks. I have had 3 heart attacks, angioplasty 3 or 4 times and bypass and I have a stent. I went for a few years after the bypass with little or no problems, but lots of medication. Then I guess I started getting used to the meds and I am getting older so have had some more rough times, but no more heart attacks. Right now my meds are doing well. So this is what changed my life the most drastically. I am no longer married, my kids are all grown, I have grandbabies now. I havent worked in 10 years. I have been through the mill with disability, social security, and the fact that I cant work. It has been 10 long years but now my life is in a very good place and I worked hard to get it there and I work hard to keep it there. I have no idea what my life would have been like if this had not happened or even what kind of person I might have been, I often wonder.

A Scrappy Day

2005-10-09T20:25:00.000-07:00

So I managed to get some projects started today and well on their way to being finished! I am in a magnet swap on the WT board, they are not due until the 1st of Novemeber but I got all but 2 done today....and the two I am missing only because I ran out of wood shapes. This is how they came out so far. There are 9 of us so we will have quite an assortment of magnets!

A Perfect Day.

2005-10-08T23:28:00.000-07:00

So yesterday started out just like any other.....work for 4 hours (which I didnt want to do), which actually went very fast and was as enjoyable as it could be for working! After that I had a Gold Canyon Candle Party to go to, and I took my oldest and youngest daughters. We all really enjoyed that party. It was given by a former co worker and alot of other former co workers came so it was good to catch up and for them to see my girls grown. And it turns out that my former coworker lives just 3 blocks from my oldest daughter, where I spend the majority of my time. Will be catching up with her somemore as she has a two year old and I usually have my 19 month granddaughter. If you ever get a chance to go to a Gold Canyon CAndle party you should definately go....much for fragrent than PartyLite and better prices too. We were very pleasantly surprised and I have committed to booking a party to take place after I move, hopefully before Christmas so I can get some Christmas sales. After the party my oldest had to go home as they were having a party, and my youngest and I went out to dinner, ymmm Chicken Strip salads and then she suggested we go to the movies. Well I havent been in ages, but we grabbed our blankets, got some goodies, and went to see In Her Shoes with Cameron Diaz. It was so good, very well written, we loved it. So I had a really quality day with my youngest yesterday, they are few a far between when they are teenagers so I really treasure it. So it was a regular day that turned into a really memorable one!

The trip home, what are you thinking about?

2005-10-06T22:24:00.000-07:00

I love being in the car by myself driving. Maybe because I have a new car and I LOVE it?! Whenever I get in the car, my music goes full blast and if the weather permits, or there are no fires, I open the panoramic roof. So after I get in this mode my brain is free to roam...and roam it does. I often think about how good it will feel to get where ever I am going, and then I think about all of the things that I want to do, and all of the things I have to do. So I guess I am planning usually. If the drive is long enough I will get out of the planning stage and into the site seeing stage, looking at other cars, people in them, the scenery, license plates, houses, businesses. Now if I am irritable to begin with I complain about the lousy drivers and those trying to drive and talk on their cell phones, thats the worst! Usually though it is a relaxing time for me, I like being in my car....but I dont commute either so that makes a huge difference. I love my Pontiac G6 GT!!!!!

A Productive day

2005-10-04T23:28:00.000-07:00

Man did I not want to go to work today when I got up....but I did, and I am glad I did, I am just really tired...yet here it is almost midnite and I am still up!!! Go figure. So I worked today....I managed a few errands as well. I got good news in that I got loan approval for my new home, but I still havent sold my current one, one step at a time I guess. And I did get the Tinkerbell costume started......about 1/2 way done I think! So far so good....till I get to the zipper! It is going to be really cute. Tommorrow I have to finish it and finish my circle journal so I can mail it on Thur....if I dont it has to be mailed Sat. I did lose one person from the circle journal, at the last minute, not great timing as almost everyone has theirs done and has sign in for this person, but nothing to be done about it...its a part of all the circle journals stories.

I have these pictures I took of Simi Valley for my journal, Hometown USA, I took them a week before the fired started, and the fire burned through that area so I went back up and took pictures from the exact same spot, wow it tells a story.....see them below: and then again I guess they wont be below....I cant get them to load, will try tomorrow.

Our Visit to the Reagan Library

2005-10-03T22:02:00.000-07:00

This is Jenna and I at the Reagan Library today. This photo is at his gravesite. The weather was great, high 80's today. Jenna got a sample bag of Jelly Bellys, her first time with Jelly beans and she loved them!!! I had to go to the gift shop and get her somemore! She loved running around the outside grounds, lots of flowers to smell, bugs and bees to observe, and lots of sidewalks with benches. She loved the Snake warning signs....sssssssssssss. She enjoyed the horses inside also, but was difficult with her and all the rope barriers, she thinks they are for playing with....dont all kids??? All in all it was a great trip.

OK....here we go!

2005-10-03T16:23:00.000-07:00

So I am just trying to figure this all out, how to make changes and all that, very confusing!!! Anyway I have my condo up for sale and have put a deposit on a manufactured/mobile home, so I am playing the waiting game, not fun!!! I have a dog and she cant be there if I am not so I have to bring her places to stay if I am not at home, its almost like having a baby again! I have been able to keep the house spotless, but how hard is it if you are never there??? I swore I would never move again...and its only been 5 years!!! I am doing some major purging of stored stuff though this time, I refuse to move all that crap!!!! Now tell me who in the world needs 8 Rubbermade tubs of Christmas stuff??? And I didnt even get it out last year!!!! Ebay here I come! But thats ok too because I am saving for a Canon Digital Rebel camera and any money I make from selling (and my notary's) is going towards that camera.

I have Jenna today, she is sleeping. We visited the Ronald Reagan Library today to take some pics for my circle journal. It was fun...and hot....and she LOVES jelly beans!!! Tonite I have to work on her costume.....She is going to be Tinkerbell, how cute is that????

My Circle Journal is themed Hometown USA......I took pictures of my hometown, Simi Valley, on the 21st of Sept, we had a horrible fire like 7 days later and it burned through every place I had taken pictures, including the Welcome to Simi VAlley sign. So yesterday I went back and took the exact same pictures, and wow. It seems so weird that it happened this way, well it will be a part of my journal none the less.

Thats it for now!

Ist Post

2005-10-03T15:59:00.000-07:00

Just testing....and doing a sample post so I can play with this!