The day they told me......

that I was having a heart attack at the age of 35 changed my life forever and 10 years later still adds twists and turns to my life unexpectedly. So there I was a 35 year old mother of 3, slightly overweight, working at a preschool, just before lunch and I have chest pain that can accurately be discribed as 'an elephant sitting on my chest'. I am sweating and cant catch my breath, finally we all decide I should go to the ER...and another teacher drives me there! The ER took one look at me and took me in the back without even getting any information, I still didnt have a clue what it was, someone came in and did an EKG and had a very strange look on her face, still I have no clue, but everyone else did. The only thing on my mind was the pain, and that I needed to pick up my kids from school because they were out early that day, and to please call my mom but I couldnt remember her number. The next thing I know there is a nurse bending over me and I looked up and saw her blue blue eyes and she seemed so comforting and so I told her I think I am going to pass out, and she said you are in the best hands you could be, and that was it everything went dark. I dont know how long I was out, actually my heart had stopped and they had to defibrillate me but I still didnt know that, but when I awoke I was in a hospital gown, and I again asked about my mom and my kids. When I did come to, the nurse told me welcome back, and my husband was there, and my day care was picking up my kids. I was also told that I was having heart problems and that I needed to be transferred to another hospital 25 minutes away....my first ride in an ambulance. All the while I was very calm and I felt very safe and secure and was never scared.....I think wherever I went when my heart stopped was very calming and comforting....to this day I have had this feeling whenever I have had heart problems. I had angioplasty that almost didnt work, a scary moment for all, but not me. At the time this happened everything in my life changed, the way I ate, the things I did, working, all of it. But we still did not know why it happened. After a few more episodes and a couple more years it was determined that I have spasms that cause heart attacks....Printz Metal Anginia, rare , and rare that it causes actual heart attacks. I have had 3 heart attacks, angioplasty 3 or 4 times and bypass and I have a stent. I went for a few years after the bypass with little or no problems, but lots of medication. Then I guess I started getting used to the meds and I am getting older so have had some more rough times, but no more heart attacks. Right now my meds are doing well. So this is what changed my life the most drastically. I am no longer married, my kids are all grown, I have grandbabies now. I havent worked in 10 years. I have been through the mill with disability, social security, and the fact that I cant work. It has been 10 long years but now my life is in a very good place and I worked hard to get it there and I work hard to keep it there. I have no idea what my life would have been like if this had not happened or even what kind of person I might have been, I often wonder.